Amir Massoud Tofangsazan: The blog continues

THIS IS THE SHORT STORY OF THIS SITE

2013-12-09T23:47:00.000Z

For those coming here and wondering what it's all about - well in a nutshell it's about this ebay scammer called Amir Tofangsazan who sold a broken laptop and thought he got away with it... 4 million site hits between this and the parent site (dormant for over a month now) and we're still waiting for the little toe sucker to make good. Probably the easiest way to understand things is to click on the picture on the left and see what Wikipedia has on him.....click on the big text to see the current Wikipedia stuff, anyway, I'm just trying to make this site as interesting as possible for daily visits until Amir raises his perverted thieving head again!
post or read comments here email me
LATEST, LATEST, LATEST UPDATE (thanks again to Von) link

link
LOOKS LIKE THE LITTLE THIEVING SHIT MOVED ONTO BIGGER SCAMS! - I'll try and get some more info but if any of you have a friendly journalist friend they can apply for the court documents here. Thanks to 'anonymous' for the tip. If you click on the earliest archive on the right you can get a good idea of what this guy was all about. He was even interviewed on BBC radio were he denied everything (it's somewhere in the archives). I for one am very happy he was denied bail and hope he goes to prison where his homo-erotic tendencies and foot fetishes will have another outlet.

2012-01-28T16:00:00.000Z

2012-01-28T15:00:00.000Z

dog watches Marmaduke

2012-01-28T14:00:00.000Z

2012-01-28T13:00:00.000Z

The sound most of hear from mice is those little feet scrambling behind the furniture in the wee hours and it’s not a particularly welcome one at that, but this little guy might make your heart melt a bit toward the rodents of the world.

The Surrey Wildlife Trust is responsible for the video and is currently taking donations to help fund the Surrey Dormouse Project, wherein they monitor boxes where the little creatures hibernate in the surrounding area.

Rest assured funds will not be used for adenoid surgery or wee breathing machines.

2012-01-28T12:00:00.000Z

2012-01-28T11:00:00.001Z

Endless Loop

2012-01-28T09:02:00.002Z

2012-01-28T02:10:00.000Z

2012-01-28T00:15:00.000Z

2012-01-27T22:00:00.001Z

"Would it be fair to say that the underlying 
ethos of your business is rather different 
from that which you might think from the 
second part of its name?"  Lord Leveson
 
"I never wanted to be famous" - David Beckham
-----------------------------------------------
POPBITCH           _     _ _
 _ __   ___  _ __ | |__ (_) |_ ___| |__
| '_ \ / _ \| '_ \| '_ \| | __/ __| '_ \
| |_) | (_) | |_) | |_) | | || (__| | | |
| .__/ \___/| .__/|_.__/|_|\__\___|_| |_|
|_|         |_|  25.01.12 ISSUE 579
 
Free every week: to subscribe/unsubscribe
go to http://www.popbitch.com
Send us stories - email: hello@popbitch.com
* Noel Gallagher's the daddy
* Airdogs v otterhounds
* Charts: Cover Drive for number one
------------------------------------------------
 
 
        >> Off the rails <<
        Fun and games in rich world
 
    When the Government recently 
    unveiled the chosen route for the
    HS2 high-speed rail line between
    London and Birmingham, we couldn’t
    help but notice that it goes very, 
    very close to Waddesdon Manor, the
    famous ancestral home of the 
    Rothschild family.
 
    This routing has annoyed the Rothschilds
    but it must surely be a coincidence
    that we had heard that the Chancellor
    of the Exchequer had a chance to express 
    his opinions on the HS2 route? There 
    has been a little animosity between 
    Osbourne and his former pal Nat 
    Rothschild, since he dropped Osborne in 
    it after that Corfu holiday with the 
    Russian billionaire and Lord Mandelson.
    But a little thing like that wouldn't
    cause George to hold a grudge or 
    anything now, would it?
 
 
-----------------------------------------------
Popbitch's favourite ice hockey defenceman...
Columbus Blue Jackets' Grant Clitsome.
-----------------------------------------------
 
 
        >> Big Questions <<
        What nobody is asking this week
 
    Which American movie star needs to 
    follow the example of his older British
    namesake and clean up his bad habits?
    Two LA clubs have thrown him out of 
    their VIP sections for refusing to
    stop powdering his nose at the table.    
 
    Is Ruby Wax really banned from 
    the Clapham Junction Asda?
 
 
---------------------------------------------
Red Light's Get Out Of My Head
 - tune of the year so far.
---------------------------------------------
 
 
        >> New dog, old tricks <<
        Cosby is the new Sadie 
 
    David Blunkett's old guide dog, Sadie, 
    had a bit of a taste for Yorkshire
    puddings, infamously poaching one
    from the plate of Rebekah Brooks at
    a lunch meeting. Sadie went into
    retirement late last year, but it
    seems that her replacement - a black
    curly coat retriever called Cosby -
    has a similar habit.
 
    At a drinks event this week, Cosby
    was spotted turning his nose up at
    the mushy pea canapes instead heading
    straight for the table with the
    chocolate fondants. Sadly for Cosby,
    as he jumped up to reach for one,
    he was shooed away.
 
 
-----------------------------------------------
Other racially-dubious dog name news - one of 
Lord Tim Bell's black labs is called Tippex.
(With allegations of Bell Pottinger's Wikipedia
manipulation, a slightly unfortunate choice?)
-----------------------------------------------
 
 
        >> Zevon heaven <<
        Dad's incredible porn collection
 
    This week would have marked Warren
    Zevon's 65th birthday. Tasked with
    sorting out Warren's belongings after
    his passing, his son was given due
    warning by him on his deathbead that
    there was some porn that would need
    sorting and disposing of. Thinking
    that it'd be the usual X rated stuff,
    the son went through it, only to
    discover that much of it was of 
    Warren himself shagging women.
 
In memory:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRHIeblmIws
 
-----------------------------------------------
Warren Zevon was always called upon at Zevon
family get togethers to barbecue fish.
-----------------------------------------------
 
 
        >> Take it on the chin <<
        When stars go see Graham Norton
 
    True to her megastar form, we're told
    that Madonna vetoed all but one of the
    pictures taken to promote her appearance
    on the Graham Norton show last week
    (something about her chin looking
    "too pointy" apparently) but still she 
    may not have been the biggest diva to
    feature so far this series. We're told
    that when Gerard Butler appeared on the 
    show the week before, the gang he brought
    was so large that the producers couldn't 
    fit them all in one people carrier. 
 
 
-----------------------------------------------
Gerard Butler spent 45 minutes getting make-up
done in advance of the Coriolanus premiere.
(Hangover, Ger?)
-----------------------------------------------
 
 
        >> Goldie is NOT her dad <<
        Anais starts out on celeb circuit
 
    Back when Popbitch was just a load of
    nonsense emailed to a few friends, one 
    story used to appear in our inbox 
    ten times a day for months.
 
    2000 - Oasis were popular, and Noel
    Gallagher and Meg Matthews had just
    spawned a daughter. But for months
    the baby hadn't been spotted. 
    And why? The rumour went that it
    was because the baby was black - 
    Goldie was her real dad. 
 
    Obviously this was ludicrous - we
    even had slogan t-shirts made up 
    as a joke. But we couldn't stifle
    the giggles again this week when
    we saw these pictures. Let's ignore
    the fact an 11 year-old is doing a
    shoot for Mario Testino and just
    check out the slam-dunk Noel mini-me
    in the right-hand photo:
http://bit.ly/AzOkab 
 
---------------------------------------------
Newt Gingrich's sister Candace is a very 
good rugby player. She plays hooker.
---------------------------------------------
 
 
        >> Groundhog day <<
        Mortimer channels Jin
 
    Remember Jin The Otter's daring zoo
    escape and life on the run round
    Auckland? Well, meet Mortimer The
    Marmot, who entranced Vancouver 
    through 2011. Mortimer was suspected
    of hitching a ride from boring 
    Vancouver Island to see the big
    city. After hanging out behind 
    a hospital the marmot moved uptown
    to a country club, where he made
    a home for himself near the tennis
    courts. We're desperate to know
    how this story progressed - can 
    anyone in Canada tell us what 
    happened to the marmot? We're 
    hanging on for a happy ending...
    email: hello@popbitch.com
 
The story so far...
http://bit.ly/yOIn4e 
http://bit.ly/zItb1H 
http://bit.ly/Au2FNm
 
 
---------------------------------------------
Dolphins are bilingual. They 
can talk also whale.
---------------------------------------------
 
 
        >> Pramface <<
        Alex looks happy to be snapped
 
    You may remember that Steven and 
    Alex Gerrard issued a media-wide legal
    notice through Schillings to stop 
    photographs of them out with their kids.
    So it was something of a surprise 
    to get a press release this week 
    showing photos of a beaming Alex
    out and about pushing her daughter,
    Lourdes, around in a very particular
    (and noticeable) make of pram (one
    she's already plugged quite nicely
    in her OK! column).
 
    Keen to protect her family's privacy
    as she is, it seems strange that Mrs
    Gerrard should smile so pleasantly for
    the (presumably paparazzo) photographer.
    And if she wasn't happy about it all, 
    presumably the photos wouldn't have
    found their way on to the pages of
    the magazine that employs her, OK!
 
    There must be an innocent explanation
    for it all, because surely she wouldn't
    send out such mixed messages about her
    privacy just to get a free pram, would
    she?
 
 
-----------------------------------------------
Outnumbered star Tyger Drew-Honey's real
first name seems to be Lindzi. His mum is 
called Linzi. And his dad Simon Lindsay.
-----------------------------------------------
 
 
        >> Airdogs rule <<
        Otterhound v Chihuahua
 
    Staunch advocates of anything cute
    and furry, we were sad to hear
    that a number of British dog breeds
    (including the otterhound) have 
    recently been listed as vulnerably
    endangered, with news reports blaming
    Paris Hilton's love of chihuahuas for it.
 
    It's always fun to blame Paris for 
    something but, come on, give her some
    credit. Everyone knows that when 
    Natalie and Nicole Appleton bought 
    matching ones a decade ago the
    chihuahua's street-cred hit rock bottom.
    Animal lover Paris was only doing her 
    bit to make sure that kiss of death
    didn't wipe out the little fellas
    entirely.
 
    Otterhound v Chihuahua: 
    Which would you buy?
    
    Otterhound
    1. Weigh 35-55kg and need lot of food.
    2. Bred to kill otters. Boo.
    3. Can jump 5ft high fences.
    4. Need loads of exercise but can't be 
    easily let off lease
 
    Chihuahua
    1. Weigh 2kg -  cheap to feed.
    2. Not otterkillers
    3. Can't jump. Can live in flats.
    4. Just sit around in handbags.
 
Save the otterhound?
http://bbc.in/y0TgjB 
 
 
-----------------------------------------------
Alan Yentob was spotted this week speeding
along the pavements of Notting Hill Gate on
his bicycle.
-----------------------------------------------
 
 
        >> Boo to BoJo <<
        Mayor gets on wrong side of clubbers
 
    After seeing off Southwark council's
    threats to approve a development of
    luxury flats that would put the
    club's existence into question, 
    Ministry Of Sound fans could surely
    expect a good few years of clubbing
    at the iconic venue? Alas, it seems
    as if Mayor Boris Johnson is going
    to give in to the developers - going 
    against the local democratic decision -
    and give planning permission after all.
 
    So it was good to see Mayoral candidate
    Brian Paddick at the Ministry offices 
    this week. Unless he's after a DJing
    job, let's hope he's willing to help
    to support the club's right to life:
 
Come on, sign the new petition:
http://www.ministryofsound.com/saveourclub

**********************************************
 
 
        >> Things that make you go hmm <<
        Oscars, snow leopards, Waitrose 
 
    Apologies for the late running of PB
    this week - had to go talk to the
    Leveson Inquiry instead yesterday
http://bit.ly/xOSXUb 
   
    So you're not a fan of Democrats, and you
    find a politician's cat.. what do you do?
http://bit.ly/wpXtbG 
 
    Snow leopards rock
http://bit.ly/xIYP72 
 
    Social media isn't new - it helped
    bring about the reformation.
    Interesting article:
http://www.economist.com/node/21541719
 
    Not quite what Waitrose meant to say:
http://twitpic.com/8bo8k8
 
    And this week's cutest otter pic...
http://twitpic.com/8btzk6
 
    What (Oscar) movie posters should say:
http://bit.ly/x38jou 
 
    18s? Oscars? No?
http://www.ionlywatch18s.com/?p=1353#more-1353
 
    Cooking with Skrillex!
http://cookingwithskrillex.tumblr.com/page/4
 
    Nice review of Young Adult:
http://bit.ly/yPcF0y 
 
 
 
        >> Stuff about Popbitch <<
 
* Email us stories, gossip, otter pics:
hello@popbitch.com
 
* Subscribe or unsubscribe here:
http://www.popbitch.com

*********************************************
 
Old Jokes Home
Q: What cheese is smaller than a house
but bigger than a bungalow?
 
A: Cottage cheese
 
 
Still Bored?
Best thing on the internet - 
keep scrolling, it's addictive:
http://www.gif.tv/#/giftv-272-llamadeathstare

2012-01-27T21:17:00.003Z

WARNING: About three seconds after hitting play on this NSFWish mess, a giant sperm fish with a mouth will scare away the afternoon buzz you got from inhaling nitrous out of a whipped cream can in the bathroom.

During Snoop Dogg's web show, he was asked to drop a little few words of unfiltered wisdom into the ear holes of Kris Humphries and this is the hilarious shit that came blazing out of his mouth:

"The first advice is, you dumb ass nigga, you shouldn't have tried to wife the bitch. She's not that type of a ho. She gets around, man. Did you see when Reggie took the bitch to Africa? She was looking at the Africans cause they had bigger dicks than his. He didn't know how to act afterward. They sent his ass to Miami. Reggie the only nigga that bounced back from the bitch. She's cold-blooded. I'm pretty sure she'll have a book in a month talking about all the niggas she got and how she played them. So, my advice is you can’t make a ho a housewife. Don’t try to reinvent the wheel. Let her do what she born to do: ho. Yeah. HO. Punk bitch."

That's funny. That's pretty much the same thing my mom said to the first serious boyfriend I brought home to meet her. And I really hope someone translates Snoop's advice into grunts and snorts so that Kris can actually understand it.

2012-01-27T20:00:00.002Z

2012-01-27T19:00:00.000Z

Spooky!

2012-01-27T18:00:00.003Z

2012-01-27T17:19:00.001Z

DEMI MOOREThe Drug Emergency 911 Call

TMZ has obtained the 911 call placed moments before Demi Moore was rushed to an L.A. hospital Monday night -- where she was treated for inhaling too much nitrous oxide ... aka whip-its.

As we first reported, any references to Demi's drug use have been redacted from the 911 call -- despite the TMZ story ... paramedics on scene were told by Demi's friends the actress had been doing whip-its.

After she was rushed to the hospital, Demi was placed in a facility for substance abuse treatment.

HYBRID ANIMALS

2012-01-27T17:00:00.000Z

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2012-01-27T15:00:00.000Z

Finnair provided passengers aboard a recent flight to Delhi with some unexpected in-flight entertainment: Flight attendants doing a Bollywood-themed dance in honor of India’s Republic Day.

2012-01-27T14:00:00.000Z

2012-01-27T13:00:00.000Z

Sh*t Samuel L. Jackson Says [not him in the video but it's his shit]

Norwegians think of everything

2012-01-27T12:00:00.002Z

2012-01-27T10:12:00.000Z

First official trailer for the Luc Besson-produced sci-fi retelling of Escape from L.A., Lockout.

2012-01-27T10:00:00.000Z

2012-01-27T08:00:00.000Z

2012-01-27T05:45:00.000Z

OMG...... Ferris Bueller 2 is coming!!!!!

2012-01-27T05:17:00.001Z

'FEAR FACTOR'Donkey Semen MakesNBC Question Taste

"Fear Factor" producers' plans to serve fresh glasses of donkey semen to contestants on the next episode had NBC execs so concerned ... they gave serious thought to killing the stunt, TMZ has learned.

Sources involved in the production tell us the stomach-churning stunt was shot last summer -- but NBC honchos were having a tough time swallowing this one as the air date approached.

We're told the challenge involved teams of twins drinking the full glass of donkey semen -- with a glass of urine thrown in for good measure. Contestants had to drain both glasses in order to move on to the next round.

Our sources say NBC execs had multiple pow-wows in the months after the stunt was shot ... but eventually gave FF producers the thumbs up.

Calls to NBC were not immediately returned.

The episode airs this coming Monday -- and yes, we're told multiple contestants actually do ... drink up.
Tune in ... if you can stomach it.

2012-01-27T02:01:00.000Z

World-renowned French prankster Rémi Gaillard returns to do what he does best: Piss off the fuzz and go to jail.

2012-01-27T00:57:00.000Z

2012-01-26T22:00:00.000Z

stealth kitteh 2

2012-01-26T21:00:00.000Z

2012-01-26T20:00:00.001Z

2012-01-26T19:00:00.003Z

George Lucas is really pimping the Star Wars shilling

2012-01-26T18:00:00.002Z

Classic Celebs

2012-01-26T17:00:00.000Z

2012-01-26T16:00:00.001Z

2012-01-26T15:00:00.000Z

Here Is the Creepiest Thing You Will See All Year

Behold the deeply, deeply unsettling (and NSFW) stop-motion videography of artist Monica Cook (NO RELATION AT ALL WHATSOEVER), featuring animatronic-looking sweaty weirdos giving birth to horrible misshapen babies with outsized genitalia and then turning into werewolves. The video is from March; Cook has a new show at Postmasters Art Gallery in New York featuring, in the words of Animal NY's Marina Galperina, "humanoid, cave-dwelling monkeys, loving in efflorescent goo, conceiving, birthing, mothering, and dying… all while you can see their insides working through their transparent, ripping skin. It's all shiny fluid and dripping flesh, sequins, pipes, teeth and peeled glittered bones." It's also "very touching," she says. Sweet dreams.

2012-01-26T14:00:00.002Z

2012-01-26T13:00:00.000Z

Iron Sky — billed as the best motherf*cking movie about Space Nazis from the dark side of the Moon you’re likely to see this year — is finally complete!

Starring Udo Kier, Tilo Prückner, Christopher Kirby, Götz Otto, and Julia Dietze, the sci-fi epic’s world premiere is set to take place on February 11th at the Berlin International Film Festival.

2012-01-26T12:00:00.000Z

2012-01-26T10:00:00.000Z

All-white blackbird is now four-years old

This unusual blackbird is attracting bird watchers to a Nottinghamshire country park. The bird is leucistic, which is a genetic mutation that prevents pigments from being deposited normally in its feathers. It has been residing for the last four years in the woodland of Rufford Abbey Country Park.

Each year, observers say, it has steadily shed its black feathers for white feathers. Park rangers took this picture of the blackbird - which is now completely white with no visible pigmented feathers - in the summer of 2011.

Leucistic birds are often very vulnerable to predators, because of their bright white plumage. So the park's managers are urging birdwatchers to keep an eye out for this unusual blackbird. Site manager John Clegg said: "This bird has been steadily turning whiter over the years and last summer it was completely white.

YouTube link.

"It has become quite a character at the park in recent years. It tends to appear in the warmer months and we have not seen it for a few months but hope it will return here soon." Most leucistic birds have some spots or patches of colouration in their feathers from other pigments, so this is a particularly unusual specimen.

2012-01-26T08:00:00.001Z

2012-01-26T04:10:00.001Z

2012-01-26T02:01:00.000Z

an internet thing

2012-01-26T00:00:00.000Z

2012-01-25T22:15:00.002Z

2012-01-25T22:00:00.000Z

show-off cop

2012-01-25T21:15:00.000Z

2012-01-25T20:00:00.001Z

2012-01-25T19:20:00.001Z

2012-01-25T19:00:00.000Z

Hong Yi, AKA Red, paints portrait of Yao Ming using nothing but red paint, a basketball, and some serious ball-handling skills

2012-01-25T18:09:00.003Z

The uncensored pics can be seen here

2012-01-25T17:00:00.000Z

2012-01-25T16:00:00.000Z

2012-01-25T15:00:00.000Z

Mashups of two different but familiar stories are a common basis for internet videos, often because they are just plain strange. Can you imagine any stranger combination than Mad Max and Kung Fu Panda? Wastelander Panda is the story of a fighting panda set in a post-apocalyptic world. Epic Films produced this as part of a TV series in development.

Wastelander Panda Prologue from Epic Films on Vimeo.

2012-01-25T14:00:00.001Z

2012-01-25T13:00:00.000Z

a few misconceptions debunked

2012-01-25T12:00:00.000Z

2012-01-25T10:00:00.000Z

2012-01-25T08:00:00.000Z

2012-01-25T05:00:00.000Z

funny

2012-01-25T02:01:00.001Z

2012-01-25T00:00:00.003Z

2012-01-24T22:27:00.001Z

2012-01-24T21:16:00.001Z

Chinese army play lethal game of pass-the-parcel

According to the training instructors of the People’s Liberation Army, it is an exercise that sharpens co-ordination, teamwork and mental strength. Six soldiers standing in a circle toss a satchel of live explosives between them, counting down until it detonates.

Just before it does, the last soldier drops it into a hole and the six men dive for cover. Any miscalculation would be fatal; there is enough explosive in the bag to blast a plume of earth high in the air. The exercise was staged during an exhibition drill in Hong Kong last month, as the island’s chief executive, Sir Donald Tsang, inspected the troops.

LiveLeak link.

An elite garrison of 6,000 PLA troops, including three battalions of infantry, one artillery battery and a special forces company, is based in San Wai, a district of Hong Kong near the border with the mainland. In the past two years, the PLA said, the garrison has been upgraded with new weapons and vehicles to "better protect" the island. The soldiers who took part have an average age of 22 and can speak both Chinese and English, the PLA said, with one officer saying that the tasks were designed to improve “psychological strength” and to forge “fighting spirit” through the “near-impossible tasks”.

It is said the exercise would help the soldiers remain calm if they were confronted with a real emergency. "I'm pleased to see the high-spirited, well-trained and highly disciplined soldiers as well as the advanced weapons and equipment. It is obvious that the state can shoulder the responsibility of defending Hong Kong, and I feel really assured," said Sir Donald.

2012-01-24T20:00:00.000Z

2012-01-24T19:00:00.000Z

Playing the piano for blind elephants

Paul Barton took his piano to the mountains of Kanchanaburi to play for some very old, injured and handicapped elephants, especially a blind elephant Plara who immediately stood behind the piano. Piara had his tusks removed and sold by his previous owner so has a serious infection by his ears - that on top of being blinded by sharp branches carrying logs.

2012-01-24T18:32:00.002Z

Classic Celebs

2012-01-24T17:00:00.000Z

2012-01-24T16:00:00.000Z

2012-01-24T15:00:00.000Z

best road rage video ever…. guy attacks old man in car… other guy appears from nowhere….

2012-01-24T14:00:00.000Z

2012-01-24T13:00:00.000Z

Legolas is alive, and he’s a Russian woman named Iza Privezenceva. Watch her send an arrow downrange about once a second and, as you can see at the end of the video, hitting her target most of the time.

2012-01-24T12:00:00.001Z

2012-01-24T10:00:00.000Z

2012-01-24T08:00:00.000Z

2012-01-24T02:36:00.000Z

the most incredible video you will see all month.... a dog, a man, a lift….... I thought you only saw this in cartoons!

2012-01-24T01:19:00.002Z

SEALThe Break-Up Isn't Nasty'We're Not Those Kind of People'

Seal is already speaking out about the breaking up of his marriage to Heidi Klum, telling Tavis Smiley it will be handled civilly for the benefit of their kids.

Tavis asked Seal how he and Heidi can avoid the ugly break-up that has become prevalent among celebs, and he said, "We're just not those kind of people."

Seal said, "What one has to do in this situation is to remain civil, to retain one's dignity, to be professional, and to understand that we are not the only people on this planet that are going through this."

Seal's conversation with Tavis Smiley on PBS airs this Friday, January 27 on PBS.

2012-01-24T00:05:00.002Z

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2012-01-23T17:48:00.001Z

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2012-01-23T15:00:00.000Z

Darth Vader and Don Draper have a lot in common, such as a mysterious past and the ability to force-choke people at ten paces.

sterling cooper vader price from Dann Matthews on Vimeo.

2012-01-23T14:00:00.000Z

2012-01-23T13:00:00.000Z

Megan Fox and Mike Tyson star in a Brazilian TV ad for a language school that doesn’t mince words when it comes to illustrating the importance of being able to communicate in English.

2012-01-23T12:00:00.000Z

2012-01-23T10:00:00.000Z

2012-01-23T08:00:00.003Z

2012-01-23T02:31:00.000Z

When Schtick Comes Unstuck: The Rise And Fall Of Ricky Gervais

He's been known to hail himself as "Britains Best Comedian" and at one time he might have been right, but the years have not been kind to Ricky Gervais and now his jokes have become predictable and flat.

You all know the man; omnipresent purveyor of cringe-com and master of supreme arrogance under the nouveaux-douche veil of “Irony”. “Britain’s best comedian” (his words) responsible for “Britain’s best sitcom” (my words).

But from Slough every-boss to Hollywood’s preeminent Limey snark, Gervais seems to have lost his edge and with it the favour of the industry itself. But let’s start from the beginning…

From humble beginnings growing up in grey old Reading (fodder for his underrated 2010 film Cemetery Junction) to London’s XFM by way of the curiously titled job “Head of Speech” (thanks Wikipedia), he met Stephen Merchant.

So the legend goes, Gervais picked up the first CV he saw and it so happened to be “goggle-eyed freak” (Merchant’s words) Stephen Merchant. And their collective resumés grew, so did the star of Gervais – a constellation which seemed to garner little respect for Merchant’s input – whether RG’s intention or not, the media and, by extension, the public lent little adherence to the notion that perhaps Merchant did some of the writing/directing, too. Not until Merchant’s stand-out turn as inept agent Darren Lamb did his star diverge independently (I’m unaware as to if stars can even “diverge” and don’t much care for this analogy. So eat it, Astronomy students).

With the creation of The Office, Gervais rocketed to national fame, the face of the kind of comedy we as a nation pride ourselves on: quiet, subtle, observed, hilarious, short. David Brent was the kind of lovable arsehole whose desire to be loved is only outweighed by his desire to be the hilarious life and soul of any event. Endlessly quotable, brilliantly observed, naturalistically acted; it proved a welcome counterpoint to the brash, broad, of-it’s-time Phoenix Nights on Channel 4. Extrastoo, a few years after, further cemented Gervais’ stature as king of British comedy; with celebrities spoofing themselves in a way not done so well since The Larry Sanders Show and Gervais’ idol Larry David’s Curb Your Enthusiasm.

David Brent was the kind of lovable arsehole whose desire to be loved is only outweighed by his desire to be the hilarious life and soul of any event.

As America took The Office to it’s ample bosom (and, of course, adapted it to suit it’s own, broader comedy agenda) so Gervais rose from “Oh yeah, it’s that guy!” to co-starring in The Simpsons, in what was one of the show’s least offensively unfunny cameo vehicle episodes. Gervais even went on to star in “comedies” about a spectral dentist with Greg Kinnear and even that couldn’t halt his stride. The zenith of Gervais’ meteoric rise would have to be the stand-up set he performed in-game in GTAIV in what was perhaps the most pointless sojourn in the most critically divisive of the entire series. But when he took on the role as the fat Brit Joan Rivers to host the 68th Golden Globe awards, things started to change.

Now, from NBC’s point of view it was a smart move. The Golden Globes are a notoriously near-meritless industry piss-up where stars of pretend films likeTwilight and The Iron Lady go to pretend that their films are awards worthy and here is a notoriously frank comedian who wants the publicity and will gun-down any easy marks to get there.

With jokes ranging from cutting-edge topics such as Charlie Sheens‘ drug addiction to Robert Downey Jr’s former drug addition, his performance was met by mixed reviews. The ratings were up but feelings were caught as none other than modern comedy demi-God Judd Apatow weighed in on Gervais’ pillowy punches, who said “I didn’t like him. I thought he was mean” in a jab which manages to be even tamer than Gervais’ own celeb jibes.

In 2011, news broke of Gervais-Merchant’s newest sitcom “Life’s Too Short”, marking their triumphant return to BBC comedy – In theory. What it became was a one-note wank-a-thon; short on originality, high on repackaged jokes from his first two sitcoms. Disappointment rang out and the writing was on the wall…

As Gervais was invited back the following year (for the ratings), people were abuzz talking about the Golden Globes in the build up, something which would have never happened pre-2011. Everyone weighed in with their predictions for Gervais’ gags (“I’m glad Sarah Jessica Parker has been nominated for … What do you mean she’s not in War Horse?”) and so lies the problem. Comedy, in essence, relies on surprise for humour: set-up leads you one way, punchline sends you reeling with a counterpunch. So what chance does the comic have if everyone has clocked his penchant for the easy kill and are already ready for jokes they know are coming – that shit might fly with the Mrs. Brown’s Boys brigade, but not on my watch.

“Mong” became the word which typified Gervais’ comedy: out-dated.

And so it came to pass that while in 2011 he was too ballsy, in 2012 he lacked; the go-to guy in answering the questions that no-one asked him had answered with completely the wrong answer. The backlash was inevitable, yes, but telling in its apathy. Perhaps the “Mong” furore of late-2011 had finally been the politically correct straw which broke the public’s collective camel-back (extended metaphors are in this season). With comedians trading in sick jokes like Cristiano Ronaldo trades in slick-haired, non-performances against big teams (ooh, burn), burn-out was always likely. “Mong” became the word which typified Gervais’ comedy: out-dated.

Once the jig is up for a comedian, it can be hard to find your way out of the mire.

Gervais trudged through one-liners about Z-listers that even the tabloid gossip columns would think too trite to pass. Perhaps “hacky” is too harsh, but a hack deals in unoriginality and that’s what Gervais was guilty of (his opening monologue was spectacularly soft: line-stepping had given way to jokes about Kim Kardashianand Justin Bieber).

So what next for Ricky Gervais? With a flat sitcom that has just finished it’s run (and a second series of it on the way) and fingers at a defensive position on his Twitter account, his career is at a cross-roads.

He either follows his current path to impotence, his shtick worn out completely on a jaded audience who just want to see if he can do something different, or he fully utilises the considerable comic nous at his disposal. The aforementionedCemetery Junction, despite its modest box-office figures, proved that Gervais-Merchant can do dramedy well enough to have a few great movies in them, so why isn’t he doing that? Surely a man with such “ironic egotism” as Gervais must have some kind of un-ironic pride in himself enough to quit coasting on his laurels (mixed metaphors are also in this season) and freshen it up by doing something unexpected, before we all get too bored. That, after all, is what comedy is all about.

2012-01-23T00:00:00.000Z

2012-01-22T22:47:00.002Z

STEVEN TYLER'S NATIONAL ANTHEMDid It Suck?

"American Idol" judge Steven Tyler is finding himself on the other end of the criticism this afternoon ... he's being mercilessly attacked for his rendition of the National Anthem today.

Tyler, in a glittery New England Patriots scarf, sung "The Star Spangled Banner" before today's Raven/Patriots AFC Championship game.

Popular sports site Bleacher Report posted the video under the headline, "Watch Steven Tyler Butcher the National Anthem." Jason Whitlock, columnist for FOXsports.com, tweeted, "Steven Tyler far more obscene than Janet Jackson's t*tty."

2012-01-22T21:21:00.000Z

Like the hilarious Chris Brown Look at Me Now video before it, this music video of LMFAO's played too much Party Rock song is made completely with MS Paint. What's even better is that every lyric is literally interpreted so you'll see drawings of a rock with a party hat on inside a house when LMFAO goes, "Party rock is in the house tonight...

2012-01-22T21:09:00.000Z

2012-01-22T19:00:00.001Z

2012-01-22T18:22:00.000Z